|
|
Gaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbyyyyyyyyyy
|
|
|
|
[14 Apr 2005|10:09pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Libertines - Death on the stairs |
] |
Instead of quitting livejournal.
I decided to make a new one. memento____mori
To get rid of all the shit in this one.
Soooo umm yuh. Add it.
|
|
|
[02 Apr 2005|02:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The News |
] |
I watched a movie with Sam this morning called September Tapes.
It was honestly one of the most dperessing movies I've ever watched.
Especially since it really happened.
I can't handle things as much as I used to be able to. I have too much on my plate at once, and it's all starting to fall apart. I'm doing whatever possible to avoid school, I just can't seem to focus, nor do I have the will to even participate. I just sleep when I'm there. And every attempt I make at completing any unfinished assignment is useless. I always fail.
I need to get my life back on track or things are just going to continue to get worse. And i can't let that happen.
I'm not quite sure how, but I need to.
I need salvation from myself.
It's alright though, because tonight, I won't think about a thing.
I'm tired of trying to understand the actions of others. They don't make sense.
I'm constantly racking my brain trying to come up with some logic for all of this, but I've come up blank.
This just doesn't make sense. You just don't make sense.
And I'm done trying to get you. I never will.
I'm moving on and leaving you alone. You're much better off.
I only understand myself.
I am all I need to understand.
For I am the only one who can do anything to make sense of the things I do or say.
Therefore I stick to myself
Leave me alone.
Wow. The Pope just died. ( 3:00 p.m. )
Everybody's dying.
|
|
| I end my school weeks on Wednesday |
[30 Mar 2005|10:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| Result of Quiz :: What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? |
|
|
Yeah so anyways, No school for me tomorrow or fri? That's what I'm talking about.
Oh P.S. I have a credit card. And I'm not sure whether or not its a good thing. I guess it'll teach me to start being mroe responsible with my money? Yes.
I need a good book to read.
Any suggestions?
|
|
|
[28 Mar 2005|08:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Spill Canvas - Black Dresses |
] |
Well, school is definitely NOT my thing.
BUT, I'm going to look on the bright side and keep counting down the days until we're out of there for the summer.
I need to start looking up, instead of down.
I honestly don't know what to do about you anymore.
I guess I just need to let you and her be.
Even though I don't want to.
Oh yeah, and since this entry was pointless you should make it unpointless
( DOOOOOOOOOO THIS!!! )
|
|
| Regardless of how I felt... I had an amazing time last time |
[20 Mar 2005|11:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Modest Mouse - Bury Me With It |
] |
Yeah so Tarpon Fest blew this year?
I'm not gonna lie.
There was like 1-2 good bands, if that.
Whatever, i still had the best time.
+ Me and Skye going to Neptunes for the second night in a row.
+ Diiiiettt Coookkeee
- show being 10 dollars when everwhere else it said it was six
+++++++++ Cloves, and Chris for buying them for me
+ " they woldn't call the cops on you for stealing, they just sold you ciggarettes under age "
+/- Boredom ( Only, like one other person may know why I put a - in front of that, she knows who she is, hahaaha )
-----------------------YYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!wehtowhtghwg
- Not really getting to talk to you.. again.
+ Seeing all the cool kids from my school, which is like 3.
+ being hit on by the PUNX bahahah
----Getting wacked with a tree branch
---------Going to Taco Bell and waiting in line for almost 45 minutes.
---------Having the worst migraine ever, in line, and having this truck in front of us blaring metal and having the bass way up, therefore making my entire car shake, and making my head even worse
+++++ babies
---- Skye and Randon almost getting killed for trying to get our money back for Taco Bell.
- Getting back and everyone being gone.
+++++ The rap group that played last, anyone who left before them sucks, and missed the best part of tarpon fest. END
+++ Dancing with babies to rap.
++ Dancing with old black drunk guy, he could really bust a move
-------- Skye trying to drag me up front, falling, and now being on crutches.
++++ SLEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP
Amazing.Amazing.Amazing.
( OH P.S. I like.. put color in my hair and cut my bangs... )
|
|
| " You meet the strangest people at the flea market " |
[12 Mar 2005|11:46pm] |
Today me and Skye went to the flea market and met the best man in the world.
He was this black guy with long dreads and he gave us samples of his inscense.
They were.. as follows:
Sweet Punanny
Butt Naked
Sex in the City
and
Black Love.
hahhaha.
he went on to tell us how they will cut out any smell, ANY smell. You all know what that means.
I also met another guy who told me he had 23 piercings, and I could only see 5 of them. I can only imagine where the other 19 are.
I love the flea market.
|
|
|
[11 Mar 2005|11:29pm] |
So it's cool being blown off.
Not even that, the fact you didn't have the decency to call makes it even worse.
Thanks a lot.
I hope your night was ten times better than mine.
|
|
|
[11 Mar 2005|10:28am] |
I hate how I constantly run away from my problems.
They FINALLY took me out of Honors World History, and I have Sica now. Which is awesome cause A) he's cool and B) I now have 3rd period with Jamie and Logan.
But the douches toook me out of Honors English II as well. I ended up in some class that smelled bad with a bunch of weird people and a crazy teacher. I immediately went up to see my guidance counseler and got put back in my honors English class right away.
We had a huge test in that class today and, naturally, I hadn't gone over the material, so, as always, I told her I didn't feel good and well, here I am. At home. On livejournal. As if I don't spend enough time on the computer already.
Is it weird that by telling myself i was going to fake sick to go home, that I actually started to not feel well?
This happens every time i fake sick, I keep telling myself i have to act like I don't feel good to convince my parents I don't. and then I actually start to feel sick.
|
|
| Yay to random thoughts combining to join an extremely pointless entry. |
[10 Mar 2005|10:53pm] |
I clicked update with the intentions of writing something worth reading. But once again, I've drawn a blank.
I seem to be doing that a lot lately.
I can't even seem to think straight anymore.
I want so much yet I want nothing at all.. in particular.
I have so much to say yet nothing to say at all.
I'm sure none of this is making sense.
I guess I just want to make a difference in someone's life.
I want to mean something. To you?
I need you.
If only you needed me to.
I need someone to find me. I'm extremely lost and I don't know which way to turn next.
I'm always afraid of choosing the wrong path, which I have the knack to do.
Even though I can see perfectly fine, I feel like I'm completely blind. And I need someone to reassure me that I'm not going to run into an obstacle around the next corner I turn.
|
|
|
[08 Mar 2005|05:30pm] |
|
I swear to GOD these boys are going to be the death of me.
They're too beautiful
I love when my guidance counseler tells my mom SHE has to write a letter, and she makes me do it.
I hate having the day off and having nothing to do.
But I guess it's just nice not having to work.
I got a call in 4th period that was unavailable, and I'm really wondering who it was.
IHATEYOUUNKNOWNCALLER!
I need a boy, bad. LIKE NOW
Umm so when I get really bored, I take pictures..
( I neeed a life ..)
( MememememmememememmememeemmeEEEEE )
|
|
|
[03 Mar 2005|07:55pm] |
|
I'm extremely surprised at how easy my World History exam was.
I swear I did better on it than any of my other ones, besides Comm Tech.
Spanish was 200 questions. I almost died.
I got to see.. uhh.. you after school. So adorable. You have an amazing smile.
I'm glad exams are over.
And I'm glad it's almost Friday.
I'm not quite sure what will be in store for this weekend.
But I hope it's good.
I need some excitement.
( Beware... another one of my lame rants )
|
|
| Society Whores |
[02 Mar 2005|07:39pm] |
|
My dad's leaving tomorrow for 11 days.
I'm TOTALLY excited.
I feel horrible saying that,
but it's the truth.
I think it's going to be the most stress-free 11 days of my life.
I love my dad and all.
but he kills me somteimes.
Considering all he ever seems to do is yell at me.
Exams went alright today..
Mike came into my first period today and I swear to god I almost died.
he's the biggest stud EVER. EEEVVVERRRR.
and nobody can prove me wrong.
I promise you I will marry him.
He just needs to grow a bit.
I got a B in first period, A on the exam, and ended up with a B.
2nd period I don't know, I know i most likely got and A on the multiple choice part, but on the essay/ paragraph I kind of threw some shit together, which I regret. But oh well. Im sure i did okay. And I doubt i failed it.
Oh.. P.S.
( Don't let your friends bite you )
|
|
|
[27 Feb 2005|09:32pm] |
|
My mother tried having a serious conversation with me last night about how forgetful I am and how it's a serious problem and it needs to be solved, but it didn't work, I was far too tired and had way too much on my mind to listen to her. So I postponed it till this morning.
Where she concludes with telling me that when she goes to see her counseler, she's going to talk to her about it and tell her my symptoms, she's convinced I have ADD and that i need to get tested and go on meds.
K SWWEETTT RIDLIN MAAANNN
not.
2 weeks ago she was convinced I was depressed and wanted to put me on medication for that too.
How come when parents find the slightest thing wrong with you their first solution is counseling/meds?
Do they think that their the answer for evrything?
Personally I feel they screw a lot of people up more than they were before they even started taking them.
Don't get me wrong some people do deserve to be in medication
but I don't feel I'm one of them.
Who knows, maybe I'm wrong.
I had a lot of fun last night for the first time in a long time and it felt good.
I was actually in a good mood for once.
Thank you.
( On a brighter note )
|
|
| Why is it always the things that are already taken, that we all want? |
[26 Feb 2005|08:27am] |
|
Yesterday was a horrible day.
I knew it would be from the moment I left the house late.
Whenever my day starts off bad, it just keeps getting worse.
So, in 2nd period I realize I forgot my somewhat fake note to leave early. My mom wrote the note, I just edited it a little.
So in a sudden desperation to get out of there, I wrote an entire new note, turned it in, and was paranoid till the second I walked out those doors that they would somehow find out it was fake.
Well they didn't.
So that was a plus.
I go to pick up Skye, and well, I get stuck in about 45-60 min. of traffic, at 1:00 in the afternoon? Who the hell's out at that time. Obviously everybody.
Of course it was pouring, so of course I got soaked.
We drove back home and I went to work
By trying to help this new kid out I got myself sooo behind.
So my plans to leave work at 6:30 failed.
So I get home and my dad starts yelling at me about how I didn't bring the box downstairs he asked me to bring down, so now i have to be home at 11:00? Honestly by this point I didn't even care anymore.
So me and Skye go to the show.
It wasn't that the show itself was bad
It was the people that were there. ( But that's usually how it is isn't it? hah )
Especially you.
I don't know why. but I couldn't stand being around you.
Maybe it's because you have what I want?
So I guess I have every right to be jealous.
And I'm a VERY jealous person. At times.
And this is one of those times.
But hey, I've kind of gotten used to the fact that everybody else has what I want.
It's like some sick cycle that keeps repeating itself over and over
I'm in a constant state of deja vu.
And it's killing me.
Ihatethis.Ihatehis.Ihatethis.
Why can't I ever just find someone for ME.
Not someone that already belongs or wants to belong to someone else?
But I guess that's how it goes, for me atleast.
I hate to complain, but I am and well if you don't want to hear it don't read it, simple as that.
This entry has becoming extremely long, so I think it's going to end here.
And so am I.
|
|
|
[22 Feb 2005|11:15pm] |
|
Today was horrible.
School without Carah blows.
She's the only one I ever communicate with, and without her, I'm alone.
I was really upset.
I know i screwed things up, but I just hope everything will soon be fine between us, if not, I'll die.
So I go to get my hair done today
and I come out looking like an asian doll?
Pretty cool.
It was supposed to be brown, it's basicly black, my bangs are a little too short, which I don't really care about cause hair grows.
I don't know if i like it or not, but I guess I'll get used to it.
Oh P.s.
( The most amazing man EVER and my hair )
|
|
|
[22 Feb 2005|07:36am] |
|
Sooo last night Sam came over and we had an amazng time doing nothing at all..
cause we always do.
We went to Super Target, came back to my house, watched some Comedy Central, ate some pringles, and had a few drinks to go with 'em.
( Theeennn we took some pictures )
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
scissor____lips's journal